Reluctant to comment
Submitted by Heather on April 14 1999 at 15:25:24
In reply to My fantasy Submitted by Mark on April 12 1999 at 23:21:05
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. . . because I don't want to rain on your parade. :) I sometimes think, though, that boylovers spend too much time talking amongst themselves. What I would suggest is this: that you spend time over at Healing Together (the successor to AReASON, linked in the CBF Links section), reading the posts by the pedophiles there. These people, I must tell you, are at the cutting edge of the present state of pedophile support; what little real-life support exists for pedophiles (aside from Ganymede and individual efforts) takes the form that you'll see there. The basic assumptions underlying such support are so incredibly different from yours that you'll understand why I agree with the others that the time is not yet right for the institution you envision. You mentioned that you thought that the institution should be like the American Lung Association or the National Diabetes Association, and you clearly thought that you were being tremendously conservative in suggesting such an analogy. I'm sorry to tell you that the analogy the rest of the world is using is Alcoholics Anonymous. Here, for example, is a piece of text from Stop It Now!, one of the few real-life organizations reaching out to pedophiles: "Contrary to common belief, we know there is a way to stop abusers from ever sexually abusing a child again. Experts in the field of prevention agree that many sex abusers can and will stop their harmful actions if they are reached and receive proper treatment. "We do not see child sex abusers as monsters, but as adults who are responsible for their criminal behavior and who can choose to stop the abuse. Our responsibility is to hold abusers accountable for their actions and to offer the challenge and support to do the right thing." This is a very liberal stance - I mean it. Stop It Now! has received a great deal of criticism for this approach, which assumes that pedophiles can be taught to control their actions. I know that your immediate reaction will be, "But we're talking about pedophiles who in many cases haven't abused," but you can't understand the outside world's view of pedophilia till you realize that nearly everyone believes that all pedophiles are potential abusers. I know you've encountered this view in the media; what you need to realize is that this view is pervasive in the psychological community as well. I've yet to see any program connected with pedophilia that isn't run on the assumption that all pedophiles are sex addicts who need tremendous safeguards to keep from offending. At best, in the view of the psychological community, pedophiles can be regarded as alcoholics who will need to undergo a life-long struggle to stay sober. In most cases, pedophiles are regarded as people who have a terrible mental illness that urgently needs to be cured. I'm sorry about how the discouraging the above information is; I do hope that some day such an institute as you describe will be founded. In the meantime, locating nonpedophiles whose vision is wider than the prevailing view can be our full-time job. Heather |