My fantasy
Submitted by Mark on April 12 1999 at 23:21:05
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I dream of a new way of dealing with male homosexual pedophilia in our society. I do not believe the current approach is healthy or productive. It does not adequately protect children since it does nothing until after a boy is abused or is believed to have been abused. The adage that the best cure is prevention seems to be ignored. It may also lead to abuse because it forces pedophiles to act in secrecy with no guidance or accountability. They have no access to information about their orientation or how to deal with it responsibly. The current approach even sometimes traumatizes the boys who have been involved in sexual activities, particularly those who wanted or initiated the sex, by unintentionally teaching them they are shameful because what they wanted or enjoyed was terribly evil. In addition, the current method does not get to the root of the problem because it is based on erroneous beliefs. The first is that pedophilia is caused by sexual activity with an adult as a child. A related belief is that pedophilia is learned behavior. (It may be true that coerced sex is learned behavior, but that is not the same as the pedophilic orientation.) The belief seems to be that if only all pedophiles could be locked up forever (or perhaps killed), then no new pedophiles would be created and those that exist would eventually die out. This approach will always fail for two reasons. First, it is impossible to find all pedophiles since many or most are not sexually active, and since those who are found are only a fraction of those who are active. Second, pedophilia is an orientation whose cause is not known, so that new pedophiles would be constantly created even if all current pedophiles were removed from society. The approach I dream of would involve early intervention and proper guidance of a person who discovers he is attracted to children. I envision a cooperative effort between BLers and the psychiatric community to establish a nationally known organization roughly analogous to those that work to solve various public health problems, such as the American Lung Association or the National Diabetes Association. (I do recognize that most of us--myself included--do not see pedophilia as a disease). This organization would have credibility due to the participation of respected psychologists who are expert in the fields of sexuality and pedophilia. The purpose of the organization would be fourfold: (1) to promote serious research on pedophilia, (2) to disseminate reliable information (to pedophiles, therapists, and the public), (3) to provide models of satisfying, productive lives for pedophiles, and (4) to provide a referral service for pedophiles who seek therapy to deal with their orientation. Purpose 3 could be an extremely powerful thing, especially for a young person who is just discovering his orientation and experiencing feelings of hopelessness and self-hatred. Personally, I have been inspired by reading about the lives of BLers who have established beautiful and fulfilling non-sexual relationships with boys. (Whatever your view on consentual sex, the organization would have to reject sexual relationships in order to maintain credibility.) Of course, to encourage a pedophile to make use of its services, the organization would have to take a compassionate approach and insure confidentiality. Perhaps such an effort could begin by the creation of a website. It could contain an extensive FAQ summarizing the scientific literature on pedophilia, complete with references. It would have to honestly point out the lack of scientific knowledge on many questions. Perhaps this would encourage research into those areas. The site would also contain personal stories of BLers coming to terms with their orientation and finding ways of expressing their love for boys in socially-acceptable ways that greatly improve their lives. Relevant psychologists and researchers could be asked to examine the website and contribute more information. If they wish to be available to counsel pedophiles, they could submit their names, addresses, and phone numbers along with short descriptions of the approach they would take with their clients. What do you all think? Could this dream come true? Mark |