Re: Selfishness
Submitted by BLues on October 23 1999 at 18:01:42
In reply to Selfishness Submitted by Ben on October 23 1999 at 09:09:51
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Hi Ben. Yah, this place is really blazing now huh? I have to say that I dont see masturbation as something that isnt worth doing from time to time. Especially for us boylovers. We've all grasped the fact that our passion for boys is here to stay. And, I think we all agree that, certain situations aside, most of us will never or would never allow ourselves to be sexually involved with a cherub (my favorite slang for boy). I think it's like dieting. :o) Or working-out. A cookie or a day of rest is a great motivator to keep you on track. It is a release. And a MUCH NEEDED release! I actually can get more personal than that if it helps. I was going to write this in a new post but now that Im here... I am living with my boyfriend and have been for 3 years now. He is 30. We have sex, blah blah, you know, we're a couple. Anyway, I used to go months without masturbating, though I was having sex with my boyfriend. I would get very irritable sometimes when I went a long time without "taking care" of that other part of me. The part that wants to look at a boy while having an orgasm. Actually, the biggest part, I am honest with him (now) that Im not gay. Although I do love him, its more a brotherly love (damn, Im gonna be in trouble when he reads this!) I know he loves me and I know he is gay, so he has needs to, just like I do. Anyway, where was I? Okay, my irritability would end just as soon as I had masturbated looking at boy pics. Weird. Shows just how mental our boylove is. At first, he would wonder why I couldnt just have sex with him if I was horny or whatever, but I think he now understands that my distress doesnt go away until I pacify it directly. Also, not to sound manic or anything, but I would also start to have terrible thoughts when I went too long without my fantasy masturbation sessions. I cringe now in retrospect but I would start wondering just how I was going to get that 12 yr. old cutie from across the street into my bed. YIKES! Not healty! However, and this may interest you, I never had sex, masturbation or otherwise, from about age 21-22. It was just about a full year! WOW! I was on "the fringe" so to speak. Geez, Im gonna contradict myself here! I was living in the woods in a tent in my bosses backyard. By choice mind you. Its hard for me to explain it but it was a very spiritual time for me. I felt so close to God back then. I would work about 16 hours a day, have quiet meditation by the lake, sleep on the earth, and church on Sundays. Its was undoubtably the best I have ever felt. I am not going to try to get that back, although I would love to feel that way again, Im satisfied that God let me live like that once. Ben, I dont understand it, and I dont want to start someone on a quest they cant complete, but at that time all sexual thoughts left me. They were just gone. I hope I dont sound weird to ya but I was so light. Ya know? I glowed and (this is funny) I could feed wild squirrls from my hand. Anyway, I dont understand why, but thats all true. Hope that doesnt make me sound like a hypocrit. I think masturbation should be a part of a boylovers life, at least when we need it. And sometimes, unless you live in a tent and feed wild squirrls, we all need it. BLues. |