Selfishness
Submitted by Ben on October 23 1999 at 09:09:51
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I'm glad to see that we are all posting a bit more lately. I think that a little controversy is a good thing. Perhaps God put Shari out to us so that we would rekindle our fire for righteousness. I've continued to fall short of fully believing that masterbating is really all that sinful. I do it far less than I used to (maybe once a week instead of 3 times a day :o) and I do not allow myself to use usenet at all (especially for this purpose) because the material gets increasingly more intriguing and tasteless. Well a couple of events this week caused me to look at another aspect of masterbation and fantasy: Selfishness. It came about because, this week, some things happened with the twins' father which have weakened his ability to be there for his kids as much as he should. I had noticed, over the past few weeks, that the twins and their older brother were clinging to me more and more. They were fighting to sit next to me in the car, practically bowling me over when I would walk into their house for attention and sending me emails which, in a cool subtle 12 year olds way, told me how much they feel loved by me. It's all cool flattering stuff, that made ME feel really good. I also thought about the single mom in the church who I have been 'dating'. She really likes me and she is constantly looking to me for support. So, last night, as I had my weekly 'release' of sexual tension, I realized that all of these people were at home, writing me email or wanting to call me. But I was too busy masterbating to think about them. I was satisfying my OWN need so that I could feel good, when they might have been feeling just plain crummy. Mark 9:35 Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all." I'm going to try to avoid staying home for that purpose unless there is truly no opportunity for me to spend the time helping someone else. Even if it means staying up all night and posting on this board, if there is someone who can benefit from my 'fantasy time' then I should give them my time, not keep it for myself. Just some thoughts for a Saturday morning :) You are not alone. Ben |