*squeak*
Submitted by Triple Q on November 03 1999 at 23:49:18
In reply to Triple Q? You there? Submitted by Dirk Gently on November 03 1999 at 22:17:59
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Before I made my post Monday night, I was sitting here thinking about this little girl I know. I don't know how I can still smile at just the thought of her, but I do. She has been the one bright spot in a very dark life lately. She is a joy to be around and I can't even begin to count the number of times she has brought me out of the depths of depression with merely a smile. Despite the fact that I have a job now, I'm still months behind in my bills and bearly keeping ahead of the shut-off dates. As I write this, the registration on my car has expired and I have no money to pay it for another week or so. But I haven't complained. I've just plowed through with the thought of her smile in the foremost of my mind. But Monday night I was thinking about her (her uncle had just told me that she had been asking about me since I hadn't been over for a few days). With a suddenness that surprised even me, I began to realize that I was thinking of her in "that way". In an instant, without any conscious thought of it, I destroyed what little hope I had left. How can I face her now? How can I look into those bright shining eyes and not envision that careless moment? I was hoping that time would heal the scar but I have even begun to ignore the phone when I know it's from her uncle (since he's staying with her parents). I was supposed to go over tonight but couldn't bring myself to go over there. I can't bring myself to face her. What do I do now? It wasn't her fault. Why is she going to be the one to suffer for my carelessness? I hate my life sometimes. I really do. Noisy enough? :( |