BLues
Submitted by Echo Free on December 26 1999 at 00:25:39
In reply to Re: A Question. Submitted by BLues. on December 25 1999 at 06:38:26
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Merry Christmas; I don't have a problem with my Love for children, and I didn't pray that God would take away that Love. Simply that God would take away my sexual desire for them. I fear myself sometimes, even though I know I would never abuse a YF, or any child. Still I also know that the posibilty for harm exists. I am Human and I am faliable. I make mistakes. I fear myself because one day I may mis-understand a statement or action to mean approval. And there by hurt my YF. This sexual desire is my Shadow Side. The side that shuns the light of Jesus. Jesus calls for all of us, not most of us. He calls us to trust him, to change us for the better. If he thought that leaveing me with this desire is for the better, then... Well it's hard to Love Him right now. BLues, I may accept what I am, but that doesn't mean that I like it. The possibility for harm is too great. BLues, even you cannot live as a Christian SHOULD. No one can. Even the Pope Himself cannot be a perfect Christian. That was why Jesus had to die in the first place. I can live the best I can, but I feel that it is not enoughe. I was an extreamly devout Christian before. Mabey right now I'm just in one of those low points but... Well I guess I just feel guilty that I 'am the way I am'. As to the story of my only YF, well I think I'll let you stew for a while. Just because. :) With Love in the Season. Echo <((( |