I want a YF...
Submitted by Chris on January 23 2000 at 10:01:35
|
Hi anyone, I was just reading a post by a "Hoby" over at CE. He says he is a 13 yr old boy who is in a really wondefull relationship with a boylover right now. And I have been reading quite a few things about boylove relationships. I used to have such a cool, fun relationship with L., my only (so far, hopefully) YF. I love him still, but I hardly ever get to see him anymore. He has turned 18 and has a job and a car (that he keeps trying to keep running), and girls, and all his friends who are his age. I seem to be pretty much in the background now. Like last night, he is the bass player in the band I am in, so he was over for a jam session, but that was it....I won't see him again until next week....maybe. Man...we used to be together all the time! When L was 9 or 10, we became inseperable. He was always bugging me to come over my place (which we did as often as I could!), and spend every week-end with me...and just do everything with me. It was so great! I think I can remember every single hug we shared, and all the love we felt for one another. But al that does for me now is make me feel lonely. I never did anything remotely sexual with him, but we were very, very close physically, anyways. And we were very close emotionally as well. He always came to me with all of his problems and we would talk about things that were important to him...and me too. I know all kids get older, and they must leave behind the things of childhood, but why does that also mean becoming so distant to the one person in his life who shared so much love with him? I guess I do understand it...but that isn't making it much easier. Man, I will always love L....no matter what. I just miss him really bad, I guess. So, I wanted to at least write how I feel, it makes me feel a little better. I am hoping and praying that God will put another YF in my life. Maybe He feels I'm not really ready emotionally, or something, I don't know. Actually, when L came into my life, I wasn't really "ready" for all of it, emotionally, at that time, either. But I got by with my faith in God, and the love in my heart. Actually, I like to think I did a lot more than just "get by". It was the happiest, (but at the same time kind of frightening), fullest, and most incredable time of my life. And I know I could give so much to a boy who needs somebody in his life, somebody to love and to love him. Anyways, I am starting to ramble on and feel kind of silly too. I know that God is in my life, and that all things work together...etc. I guess I just needed to write about it really bad. God Bless! Love, Chris |