Praying for you now...and I've been there
Submitted by Jules on January 26 2000 at 18:28:54
In reply to hello... Submitted by zip on January 26 2000 at 16:25:01
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...wherever you are in the world. Brother zip (I assume, not sister!), it's great to be able to support one another in this way. You are not far from God if you feel as you do, and your awareness of him seems strong. Let me reassure you that your standing before God in no way depends on how well you are doing in this issue, or any other. Your standing depends on your union with Christ by the Holy Spirit in you. Nothing can separate us from the love of God, not even our sin. After all, why did God provide the cross in the first place? God hates sin so he provided a way to remove it. I've struggled with the same issue as you myself, and one of the most helpful points I reached, strangely, was when I stopped focusing on the sinfulness of what I was actually doing. Sounds weird? Well, it's because I came to have enough awareness to see the big picture (excuse the pun!), to see sin in the cause and the effect of it. On the cause side, I came to see why I was so interested, and it was because my need for intimacy was not being met, a need that was legitimate in itself, but being distorted, being directed towards fantasy instead of reality. A little bit of fantasy is good for us, but not if it turns into pretended fulfilment. Sin is usually a distortion of something good, rather than an isolated evil. And I also came to see the effect it was having on me in broader terms. Instead of just seeing it as something that was spiritually harmful to me in itself, I learnt to see that it was quite simply a waste of God-given time, and therefore was reducing the quality of my relationship with God and with other people. The secrecy aspect was also harmful to my openness with others. So I don't locate the sin in the actual looking -- after all anyone can go and admire naked bodies at a naturist beach or club any time they like, and they are part of God's creation! -- I locate the sin in the distorted, unrealistic way I was trying to meet my need for intimacy, and in its broader effects on my life. The more we understand both the causes and effects of our sin, the better able we are to overcome it. We pray for the help of the Holy Spirit in overcoming sin, and I believe this is one way he helps us -- by revealing the bigger picture. I said the same sort of thing a couple of weeks ago here: Re: Overwhelmed. Do stay around and read the other posts here as well. Tim raised the same issue recently and the replies he has had are very helpful. I like Mark's point here that interacting with real people helps enormously. Keep close to God. Keep praying. But also keep thinking and looking at the issue with as wide a lens as you can. Hope that helps. God bless you too. With love, Jules |