Re: 'Faithless And Hopeful'…
Submitted by David on April 06 2000 19:11:22
In reply to 'Faithless And Hopeful'… submitted by Andy on April 06 2000 11:55:00
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Andy, Thank you for your prayer offerings, and comforting words from the Letters. I often wish that things were different as I am sure we all do, but they are not. I only must waith for a brighter day, and deal with this. For some reason God implanted boylove in me, as it was not societies fault in anyway, but it is societies fault I cannot express my love. I know this is an age old question but "Why has God created such a cold world?" If God indeed created this world we live in why did he make it so difficult to survive in. As I am not trying to sound like an elitist, but I have had life easier than most, at least the materialism of life, but on the interior I have been poor since day one. I have a heart that wants to love so many boys in so many ways but it cannot. If there is indeed a God why won't he offer us the Worldly Utopia that has been promised for so long? Is the Kingdom of God internal, like Luke and Thomas say, or external like John and Paul say? Why does he not show himself to humainyt and offer us the right way to live? Why does he allow us to wonder at all times? Does he not know that science and scholarship have made him virtually irrelavent to everyday life? Does he know how difficult it is to try and have faith in this postmodern era? Does he know what I feel like day and day, for the last six years? Wher is this loving God of mine where I need him most, in my heart. As my heart has never been able to expierence the love of lovers since my desire I am not allowed to love. Will this ever get better. I am 19 now, and I don't want to be like this when I'm 70 (assuming I live that long). I am a Christian, but I am beginning to feel like the seed in the Sower parable that "Landed upon rocky ground and sprang up immediatley, but it had no foundation and quickly withered away." I feel bad for asking these questions but I must question this God that I affirm my heart to, because if we don't ask how do we know he is listening. In Christ and Boys God Speed David |
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