May I humbly suggest brother that the problem you have is not that you are in pain.

The problem you have is you are trying to be somewhere you are not.

You want to be somewhere other than where you are... and if you can get there, great. But having tried to move away and been unsuccessful, perhaps its time to look at accepting things as they are.

I believe if you can't find contentment in your current circumstances then you'll never find it.

I also believe you can find contentment in the midst of pain. All pain is only temporary... and some must be endured for a very long time.

Remember that a day is coming when God will wipe every tear from your eyes.

Stay faithful in trials.... rest in God's love... and most importantly for you... stop fighting against your reality.

Blessings
Cat.