That would be accepting then, I'll never have contentment. Because I don't find any amongst this pain.

Stay faithful in trials.
It's been like this for too long, I'm starting to think that I haven't even seen any trials yet. Trials are temporary, this hasn't been and I don't see it being that way either.

Now why the fuck would I stop fighting my reality?
I once said "I don't want to change who I am", and my friend said "What, miserable?" And he was right. Accepting my reality of having no job, no income, and soon no home seems very.... stupid. I don't care if this is what God wants. I really don't. I didn't pay God to create me so that I can suffer for years on end. And yet there is all is vibe of "We owe God". Well, I could have saved him time.

Thanks, but I'm fine here in the non-existent dimension. Let me know how Earth works out.

Maybe not you guys, but where I live, every single person that gives me advice, usually says something that God. And usually that person has a fantastic life, and no, that is not an assumption, these are people I know and have known for years. People say faith can't exist in our circumstances. But that sort of seems the point. And I think people misuse that word too. I have faith in the existence of God, and His Son, Jesus, who came and died so that eventually we can escape the absolute doom that is the fate of this planet. That I'm sure of. But I mean, really. God is absolute truth, which means He is truly rational in the end. I've used this basic, BASIC example before.

I sit in the damn house ALL day long. All I want is a job.
Now let me lay this out - I want to GET OFF MY ASS and MAKE SOME MONEY so I can basically TAKE THE BURDEN OFF OF MY MOTHER AND PROVIDE FOR MYSELF. SO SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO SPEND THE LITTLE MONEY SHE HAS FEEDING ME AND WHATNOT.

So, in conclusion - I didn't ask for a pretty pony, a car, a girlfriend, I did ask for money. So let's focus on that. I want money. SO I can what?? Take the load off of someone else?!

So not only do I want to become a non lazy responsible person, I want to help someone else, my own wishes here are not selfish. I KNOW that money is also the way to professional help which God's happy ass knows I need.

Very much so.

Does anyone NOT understand why this is so silly to me?
It's like "ask and you will recieve" and now I'm like, what else in the bible is a lie?? I'm not even asking for something out of my own accord! I'm asking God for something for the sake of others!!!!!!
And yet, no cigar.

It baffles me.