I will try. I know I am gay and that I could probably be in a relationship with another younger man, but the problem for me with that is two-fold. Believe it or not, I don't have a problem reconciling it with my faith, I am sure that God understands our needs and I personally believe He isn't as upset about gay relationships as most Christians would have us think. However, my problems are mostly about the fact that I live in a small rural community and that absolutely no one in this community is openly gay. In fact, there is such a spirit of homophobia here, that even the closeted gays are impossible to spot. My next, and possibly biggest problem, is how I feel about myself. This is hard to explain but I just have never felt that I could ever be in an adult relationship like that. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of friends, but none of them are intimate friendships. Most of my friends are married couples from my church. Of course I have several excellent online, BL friendships, but those aren't that way either. I guess I must live a pathetic life. It's a good thing I have a good sense of humor.