I think you don't really mean it when you say that you live a 'pathetic' life but I know why you say it, because that is the view that western society pins upon the aging single guy. (Rather like the Victorian concept of the unhappy spinster.)
We are sold almost from day one the 'normal family' package and for all those of us who can never happily fit that really very narrow mould there is either pretence at normality or an inevitable sense of seperateness and alienation.
Seen from that perspective things can look very bleak at times. Have you ever though considered the notion of celibacy as a real* alternative?
I know that celibacy is not even perhaps a valid word in protestant America but, considering Paul's own words on the subject, isnt that a little strange?
At the moment, even in the Catholic church, celibacy as a way of life is taking a real pummelling for all sorts of reasons. Over the past two years however - since finishing my 'course' - I have become increasingly aware that this is the path that I have been needing to take, and since understanding this, numerous problems that I have had with my own sexual identity (or rather the lack of one) have come into focus and fallen mysteriously away.
A life of real sustained prayer is the key here though: as a way of becoming a part of the 'family of God' at a much deeper level than the suburban street. . . . .
I was exchanging emails with an amazing guy in the deep south - son of a Baptist minister - who is wrestling with what is clearly an eremitic vocation - who was trying to justify to a fellow Baptist how he could possibly be serving God by being alone - so useless to the western eye. It struck me during that exchange that when we approach God, although we may approach Him alone and seperate, it is not the way that He receives us, surrounded as He is by family. The way of prayer - however isolated and solitary it may be - is a journey into togetherness and love - not in some esoteric, philosophical way but in a very real day-to-day way . . . .
*When I say real I mean as a living experience of a life lived fully and not as a 'putting-up-with' half-house.