Your right I need to talk to a counselor but I just can't do it, I don't trust them, I have tried in the past and I just couldn't bring myself to talk about it even after 6 sessions.

I fear they may report back to the referring family Doctor in the least,or worst case scenario they may have personal feelings of hate towards our kind and use some unfounded excuse to jump to conclusions and report to law enforcement, Its just too risky and unsafe, this whole being a Boylover thing makes me paranoid. Its Bullshit that I cant even feel safe enough to get help but thats this world for ya.