but what does the word 'sexual' actually mean in this context? Isnt it too narrow a term to use about the most fundamental aspect of human personality - ie. Relationship? Just as we relate to one another on a myriad of levels so do boys relate to adults: to please, to love, to respect, to scoff; as friend, as father-figure, as hero, etc . . . we live in relationship to others all of the time and each relationship we have highlights a particular aspect of our personality.
My belief is that one of the most pressing problems in modern Western culture is the tendency to 'sexualise' almost all relationships and it really isnt a tendency that the Christian should be encouraging - quite the opposite I think.
I think there is a significant correlation between the secularisation of our society and the almost all-consuming over-emphasis upon sexuality as the most important of all of the ways in which we relate to others because, to over-simplify somewhat, 'secular society' makes an idol out of Self.
Having done this, any relationship with another person will almost certainly have a selfish motive because 'society' cannot conceive any other possibility. The most selfish motive of all is sexuality. The only relationship that is recognised as legitimately 'altruistic' by secular society is the parental one.
I still feel that the boylover confuses, within himself, parental love and adult love and the tendency to push this confusion towards sexualising that relationship (if only in the imagination) is ironically increased by cynical secular notions about the innate selfishness of relationships in general.
The pedophile is, by the same hideous irony, the very product of the secular way of seeing the world which loathes the pedophile more than anything else - quite literally. Isnt the mass murderer considered nearly normal in comparison?
It worries me constantly about this forum that we often reinforce this distorted world-view because, of course, we are so much a part of it whether we like it or not. Our call however is to a more radical view. It is so essential for the Christian to understand right to the core of his being that the kingdom that we are called to is quite literally 'not of this world'.

I'm sorry this post is so verbose. I nearly didnt post it and I am not quite happy with it - long posts when tired are not a good idea - but oh well . . .