Let me start by saying that I strongly believe that BLs can have a very positive impact on the life of their YFs - that it is certainly possible for us to avoid any problems, but rather be a major positive feature of his life. BUT you've got me worried by what you've said. I find it extraordinary that the first time you have an extended period of time with your cousin he starts to talk to you about his masturbation habits. That doesn't sound right to me in a context where you seem to be relaxed about where the friendship is going; for me it's a loud alarm bell.

To me there are four possibilities about how such a conversation came about - not necessarily mutually exclusive:

1) Your YF picked up that you are a wonderfully empathetic person who immediately put him at ease to such an extent that he was happy to talk about an issue that's bugging him.

2) This is an issue that was really painful to him, so the first time he gets a chance to talk to someone who he perceives as even slightly empathetic he grabs it.

3) He's interested in the possibility of a sexualised relationship with you and this is his way of sounding you out.

4) Something in the way you communicate non-verbally that gave him the space to talk about this issue was picked up by him as indicating that you might be open to a sexualised relationship. NO, it's not in something you explicitly said. No, that may not be conscious in his mind, but an idea that playing below the surface.

OK - so I'm emphasising the worst case scenarios here; I may well be making a mountain out of a mole hill - I just want you (and any other readers) to be as prepared for possible things to take an unhelpful turn. At the risk of repeating my previous post - I'd encourage you to think NOW about how you'd react if, when sitting together in the cinema, he does start to feel you up? It won't happen, I hear you cry. I hope you're right - I may well be being far too pessimistic. And it may not happen this time, but on a subsequent occasion.

It may not happen - but it is far better to be sure you know how to prevent any drift down a route that would probably be disastrous for him and catastrophic for you than just assume it won't happen.

Let me say again: I would love to hear in 6 years time that you've been a great blessing in his life and you got a special mention at his 18th birthday party for the positive role you played in his teenage years (I've had that once - it's a very special memory). So I hope I'm overreacting, and if I am, very little damage has been done. But if I'm not, then you can easily now, with a little thought, prevent it going wrong.