After spending a great day with one of my newest YFs yesterday, I was informed by his mother that they may be moving on from our group for work reasons. I really adore this little guy and if he goes I'm going to miss him an awful lot. I'm so glad I haven't let myself "fall in love" with him... though I do love him.

I always encourage BLs I talk to guard their hearts and avoid getting super attached to boys they don't have secure connections with.... I'm now facing the necessity of this advice and it's never fun :(

My experience has shown me that if you only have one point of contact with a yf... say a hobby group you both attend... then the relationship is dependent on your mutual attendance at that group. If one or other of you has to leave then the relationship will be effectively over.

A secure relationship is one that has contact points which I call "family". You are connected to the yf's family... you visit their home, they visit yours, you know his rents and are in good relationship with them, and you do multiple things together (ie: all your relating is not focused around one type of activity). A secure relationship is much more stable and emotional connections there are more likely to have opportunity to endure over time.

Blessings
Cat.

(A summary of this post was also put on cjat).