You make a lot of very generalized statements as if speaking for all of us.

Case in point:
we believe that we have a highly conditional acceptance from those around us. Often close friends are unaware of our real struggles, and we don't, rightly or wrongly, take the risk of unveiling to them. So the real us is unknown, and we struggle to appreciate the love that they do offer, because 'if only they knew, they'd reject us' is a thought that we can't escape.

That's simply incorrect. It may be the way YOU feel. But it isn't the way WE feel. Some of us are happy, have numerous friends, and aren't stuck in the destructive thought patterns you seem to be stuck in.