There are 5 references to the 'disciple that Jesus loved'. Four of them use the verb form of Agape (Jn 13:23, 19:26, 21:7, 21:20), the fifth the verb form of Philia (Jn 20:2). The implication is that the relationship was NOT sexual in any sense that we would understand; the fact that we assume that it must be is a reflection of our culture rather than the culture of the day. Note that the word Eros is used for sexual love, including the man boy relationships which were common in the Greek world, though wholly rejected by the the Jews; if such an allegation had been made against Jesus it would have destroyed his credibility with non-Hellenistic Jews. By contrast as early as 150 Justin Martyr, based in a Greek speaking area, is making fun of the Greek gods for their man boy relationships.