lack of male role model leads to homosexuality?
Submitted by Splash! on September 03 2000 06:04:06
In reply to lack of male role model leads to homosexuality? submitted by asb on September 02 2000 23:46:12
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asb states: *** I think that if there was to be a "boylover background survey" that there first needs to be an identification of various threads, like the lack of adult role model as a child, what other threads should there be? Oh, and another thing, Slash mentioned about being attracted to boys abouthis age when he was 12-14. That may not be a BL thing, that's often the time when people have some homoerotic thoughts. The research I have seen says it is most common. Just some thoughts. *** It's interesting that you mention both a boylover's lack of a male role model and his possible resulting continued attraction to 12-14 year olds. I'd like to know why the homoerotic thoughts of boys his age continue as he gets older but the thoughts are still of boys 12-14 years old? Why are some boys able to have these thoughts (and possibly experiment with other boys), but are able to leave these things behind them and have normal heterosexual thoughts and relationships as they become men? Consider this... I grew up without a male role model, had homoerotic fantasies when I turned 12 (puberty), and carried these "boyloving" fantasies into my adulthood. Compare that to my young friend... I knew him from ages 8 through 14. I lived with him from ages 11-14. He told me that he started masturbating when he was 9; although, he didn't tell me how he found out about masturbation and what things he thought about while masturbating. My feeling is that he was shown how to masturbate by an older friend that was very close to him at the time (3 years older). My feeling is also that he had homoerotic thoughts from ages 9 through 12. I lived with him during part of that time, and I remember him doing things that made me think he wanted me to do sexual things with him. I successfully overcame any temptation to be sexual with him; though, I did give him a *couple* foot rubs and back massages which he enjoyed. I also gave him a lot of hugs before he turned 12 years old. He often bragged to his mother about me hugging him and giving him a foot massage. He liked these things. But still, I was very careful not to encourage any homosexual behavior on his part: I told him to stop his inapporpriate sexual talk and behavior, I taught him the Christian version of the birds and the bees, we discussed pretty girls (what supermodels he liked and why), we hung out a lot, I taught him a lot about the Bible, I prayed with him, I told him when I was happy with his behavior and when I was disappointed with his behavior, I gave him punishment and rewards, we watched sports together, he helped me fix up the house, and we did other "manly" things together. Also, I often talked to him about becoming a man and what was expected of him if he wanted to be a man. Anyway, it was my feeling (along with his mother and another friend of mine) that my young friend had displayed some homosexual feelings toward me, if not toward others also, and that because of his father's absence (only home two days out of the week) that he was very vulnerable to continuing these homosexual thoughts and behaviors into adulthood. It was also my feeling (along with his mother and another friend of mine) that I, as a male role model in his life from 11-12 years old, had a lot to do with him growing out of his homosexual behavior and becoming a normal heterosexual young man (evidenced by things I saw which I discussed in a previous post). In conclusion, I believe that the lack of a male role model has a lot to do with why a male (at any age) starts to have homoerotic thoughts and then carries these thoughts and resulting behaviors into adulthood. I also know that there are exceptions showing that other factors also can lead to a male becoming a boylover and/or gay man. Though, I think the lack of a male role model is one of the biggest factors. ~Splash* |
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