What can we do? How can we change?
Submitted by Comfort on October 09 2000 17:59:31
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This message is for those who really want to be free from sexual desire for boys, and is not meant to stir up to anger those who do not want to change. For those of us who recognize that sexual desire for boys is definitely not God's plan for our sexual wholeness, I pose a question: And I ask myself this question as well, because I need to "work out my own salvation with fear and trembling." What are we doing to change? And not just "hoping," "waiting," "wishing," etc. What are we really willing to change - what specific behaviors and habits are we willing to really give up, and make a concerted effort to get out of our lives? Or will we just go on fantasizing about naked boys? Let's get going and really do something about our situation. Yet again this morning, I masturbated thinking about boys. I know this has got to stop, but I am so far unwilling to do it. What can I undertake to stop fantasizing? How can I possibly expect to become sexually whole and healthy if I continually feed the lust for boys? I cannot. I have to firmly decide to follow after the Lord Jesus Christ, and do His will and not my own. And I know it works. Though I do have moments of failure (such as this morning), in the past months I have had TREMENDOUS changes in thought life due to other changes that I have been willing to make. I have to guard what I read, what I watch (no T.V., at least for a while), who I talk to, who allow to be in my house (no boys - go figure!). No more sleepovers at Tommy's house - what is an adult doing buddying up like that with a teenage boy anyway? It may not be all that bad for him, but since it causes me such tremendous problems with lust - why not give it up? And HONESTY IN PRAYER! God has shown me I need to continually and with zeal confess my sins to him. I need to stop hiding and bare every thought, lust, fantasy to God, call it sin, ask Him to cleanse me, and for His strength to stand. And the freedom and improvement has been tremendous. Amazing. I have wept at God's grace and mercy in the past weeks, as I take stock in my life, and how he has so changed the focus of my thoughts from "boys! boys! boys!" to other more profitable imaginations. I feel so secure in knowing His hand is on me, that he loves me, and that we are going to win this battle together. Jesus Christ is how we can be set free - it all boils down to vigorously pursuing our love relationship with Him (even above our pursuit of sexual healing) - pursuing intimacy with Jesus Christ through prayer and His Word. How about the rest of you? How have you seen God healing, restoring, delivering? Surely this forum isn't just about settling in to these feelings and becoming content with less than we can be in Christ? If it is, I am outta here! I have seen too much release and healing to believe that to be the answer. But for those of you who continue to hope in Jesus Christ, I just wanted to encourage you that God can and will do wonderful things in your thought life! |
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