Re: Love and thanks
Submitted by John Doe on January 29 2001 10:07:58
In reply to Re: I hope you can help submitted by Splash! on January 26 2001 23:33:03
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Thank you Splash. This weekend was a very important one to me. I decided to meet a friend of mine for lunch. we used to work together up until a few months ago when he took another job about 4 hours away. He still comes back on weekends since he is not moving his family up until after the school year. Over the course of the 3 1/2 hour lunch, and several drinks (there was to much veritas not to have some vino) I told him everything. The marriage being on the rocks and the reason why. He was 110% supportive. He talked to me about matters of the spirt and the soul. He is not a christian per say. He was raised a Hindu, and does not attend church, but he is a deeply spirtual person. He counciled me to not let myself get angry at my wife, as hard as that may be for me. He suggested some books to me. I have started reading one of them, "Conversations with God" Its a 3 book set, and B&N was out of book one, so I got book 2 and started to read it. It is very very good, and i would recomend it to all on this board. he told me that there really are no accidents, and everything happens for a purpose. He told me that the one thing that he always tries to drill into his kids is that they have to thank god, first thing in the morning, as they are eating breakfast, when they are walking between classes and when they go to bed at night. I took his advice, and that night, I thanked god, and at the top of my list was him, and another on line friend who I have opened up to and has helped me. I also thanked god of this forum and for places like openhands and boylove.net. A couple of those "coincidences" that are really not coincidences, but probably the work of the holy spirt. After lunch we went back to his house. At the door, his son, Ben, 15 years old and in the 10th grade. A boy who i have had a bit of a mentoring relationship with, not that he is the boy who most needs it in the world (he has a great dad, and they are close, materially they are extremely well off, as am I). I boy who quite frankly, I have fantisied about, but never come close to actually doing anything with, not that I have done anything with any kid. This boy met me at the door with a hug. It was a hug that ment more to me than Ben will ever know, although I think my friend Arvind knew. The next day I went to church. My wife did not attend, so i took my youngest, and he went to sunday school durring mass, so I was in church by myself, which was a little weird. Anyways, another of those "coincidences". The reading was the passage from 1st Corinthians, "If I have all the powers of prophicy...but have not love, then I have nothing...these 3, faith hope and love abide, and the greatest of these is love". this was the reading that was done at our wedding, and was also the point that Arvind was trying to make to me, although he put in John Lennons words "All you need is love, love is all you need". Yes i thanked god that night, I thanked him for bringing me arvind into my life that day, for throwing me a lifeline like that, for giving me the streangth to bear this cross. I thank him too, for people like you. I have been given so much in this life. Yes I am fearful of losing it. Finacially I have been very blessed, I make over a quarter million a year and live in a great house with 3 wonderful kids. I have found out that I have at least one great friend. I have to have faith that he will not take it all away from me. I have to forgive my wife for the anger she feels towards me. I will fight to make her understand how much a divorce would hurt the kids, and pray that she opens her heart to that. i will fight to remain a part of my kids lives, even if we end up getting divorced. But i will try to fight with love, and not give into the temptation to hate her, even though she could be on the verge of taking all that I hold precious away from me. I know that if i fight with hate I will lose. the deck is stacked against me if I go that route. Only by showing her how much I truely love the kids will I be able to win. |
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