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Submitted by GiveLove on February 25 2001 07:28:55
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Hi, I'm completely new to this forum. I read many of the posts and they made me so thankful. You know, I'm a boylover and I'm christian. With this I always had struggles in my young life. Being only 20 I already went through so many different phases...seeing myself as a "monster", accepting my feelings, being shy as hell in front of boys, trying to hide my feelings the best I can, the old story with pix... But apart from all this I always somehow wanted to serve the lord. I thought I wasn't able to do this because of what I am, who I am and how I am. But since the last year I made a statement without compromise: I want to serve Jesus, live with him and let him rule my life. I know myself, I'm very lazy, especially when it comes to change my way of acting. I often find myself staring at pix and...well, you know. I'm aware that I perhaps will never loose my feeling of attraction to little boys, but as "forgiven" said in one of his posts, we have to make relations and love apart from sexual attraction, lead our love into ways that are good both for the boy and for us. This is my desire, this is what I want. But being what I am, it's very hard. But I know I have Jesus on my side, he will love me whatever I do, If I fail in my good intentions. He will always be there. And I have told everything to two of my friends and my preacher. They reacted so surprisingly good, I couldn't believe it. All my life I had imagined what people would say if they found out about me, but this was not what I expected. They stayed calm and prayed with me. It's so good having friends who really, and I mean really know you. And Jesus knows us the best and yet he loves us. This is the greatest thing I experienced in my life. I hope I can get help and be a help at this forum. May god bless all the posters and the webmaster for the important work that is done here. bye and GiveLove Jesus, you're everything to me, you're all, all that I need, Jesus, open my heart so that I can see your love to me. Come and fill my heart With the spirit of god, You're the prince of peace, The lord who heals, You're the light of life that shines in the dard |
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