Help!!!
Submitted by Wildfire on July 15 2001 01:39:32
| Were to begin. I guess I'll start with the nick. I chose wildfire because that's how I feel (out of control). I'm stuggling badly. Do I end my life or continue to live desparate for love. I want to love God, Christ, myself, and a person who is out of my reach. I wish I were normal. Abel to have a wife and family. To love and be loved. Not possible. My relationships with women all have failed due to the fact that I'm not sexually attracted to them. I love them, but can't make love to them. I was saved as a teen so I strggled all my life with my relationship with God. I've ran from God, but I can't get away. He is always there. Did he create me this way, if so why? I've tried to bury my feelings but can't. I've prayed that God change me, remove the feelings. It hasn't happen. I'm tired of living!!! All I want is to be at peace with myself. Is killing yourself a ticket to hell? Maybe God has led me to this forum. Lord knows I can't talk about my sexual feelings with anyone. Women think I'm gay. I wish it were true, at least then I could experience a loving relationship. The fact is though I'm not attracted to adult men. Even then it is a abomination for a man to lay with another man. What am I to do with my sexual feelings? Please pray for me. I really am tired of living this life. If hell is worse than this life I live then it will suprise me. |
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