A quote from one of the Narnia books.....
Submitted by Forgiven on September 5 2001 16:12:16
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"The question is" said Edmund, "whether it doesn't make things worse looking at a Narnian ship when you can't get there" "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" Cpt 1 - (Apologies to anyone who hasn't read CS Lewis' Narnia books as much of what follows will be lost on you - all I can recommend is correcting the error immediately!!) This phrase from the first chapter has been rattling round my head since there was an extremely cute guy at work. At the time, probably 7 years ago, there were no significant boys in my life whatsoever. I was surviving - but was not notably happy. Then this guy arrived at work as a trainee. A said he was 24. I was highly sceptical - he could have passed for 20 at most. And I had a strong sexual attraction to him. Not my usual reaction to a boy of wanting a good non sexual relationship, but strong lust. I developed a mild physical relationship with him - leaned on his shoulders when he was sitting at his desk - and tried desperately to build something more positive. And failed completely. We seemed to have absolutely nothing in common. Except that he didn't have a girl friend, and certain hints suggested that he was gay - though I never established this to be true. A left my employer after a couple of years. On the last day he was there he sat chatting to me in an empty office after everyone else had gone for about an hour - and the conversation crawled along... last I heard he's left the area. But the memory of this guy has returned to me in recent weeks since I've moved into the same office as a pair of rather cute guys (< 20). They both have girlfriends - which limits the degree to which certain fantasies can emerge - and my reaction to them is far less 'sex driven' than it was with A. I'm not sure why this should be - was it that with A I had no positive relationships at the time - was it that my 'gaydar' was picking up that he was a serious prospect - or was it just pheromones. My object in sharing this is to open the discussion of whether we are better off running away from all possible relationships with boys - or do we seek to build constructive positive and appropriate relationships with them. My own approach over recent years has been the latter, and I believe for me that has been appropriate; the way that things have worked out with K2 and the others referred to below has been extremely positive for everyone involved. To return to the passage at the beginning of this - are we better to have the ship visible in our lives, or should we close our eyes and walk out of the room. I suppose I would extend the metaphor and say that in recent years I've been taken through the glass and into Narnia and given time with K2 and others. But there is always the reality that that time is inherently limited as they grow up and more absorbed in their own lives - a prospect that is growing closer as K2 gets more involved with his girlfriend, though in another sense postponed because he is not returning to college but sticking with the job round here that he got as he recovered from his clinical depression that caused him to drop out of university in another city. It is one of the images at the end of "The Last Battle" that the children are told that they don't have to return to the mundane world but that they can stay in Narnia for ever. For us, like them, that is a prospect that we can only expect as a result of dying, and coming at last to the place where 'all tears shall be wiped away'. Until then we are called to be faithful to God's call on our lives - and perhaps sometimes we will be allowed to spend time in Narnia - with positive healthy relationships with boys. |
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