Is there somethingwrong with me?
Submitted by Laichi on November 24 2001 17:37:34
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I'll try to keep this message short as I can. I realy don't know what to write I just simply have one question and some things I just want to share with all who is reading this. I'm not at all much of a writer so my thoughts seem unclear veuage or whatever please bare with me. I just wanted to say that I have for a long time have been attracted to young white caucasion males for as long as I can remember and I don't know why. I don't when this started. Whenever I go out with my friends to the mall or any place where a large number of people come together, I would be starring and drolling over super cute boys walking around in the mall. Looking at there cute long flat hair on their heads, pasty creamy milky white skin, small bodies, cute butts and cute faces. I'm just so infatuated!! I just love the chemical that's released in my head when I see those boys. It makes me wish I could steal them away or just have one of them as one of my boys when I get old enough. I am only 19 years old by the way. I'm also tempted to look at pics of boys on the net. I just love the innocense and youth about them. As nasty and evil my feelings probably are those just are my true feelings in me. Sorry if I seem like some molester. I would never do that. I've already excepted the guilt I use to get from this. I rarely am attracted to any other racial backround of boys only white boys. I don't why this is so but it is so. Can anyone understand why that is so? I am aware that people have wrote messages about people's love for boys not being pure or right because of their fantacies they might have but for me, am I open to both. loving a boy for what he is and ejoying his company no problem. I think thats cool!! Kids are a lot of fun and they do and say the darnest things!! Sure its nice to hold a boy or hug a boy or have one sit on your lap and kiss you on the cheek, but there is also the sexual part. If it just happened to me by the boy wanting to do something sexual with me I know I would want it and probably would do it as long as no one is getting hurt both emotionally and physically. I think I started to hve such homosexual feelings ever since I was ten years old. I remember having some caucasion male friends and wanting to kiss them just to see what it would be like. I remember making friends in a white neighboor hood for the first time an woundering what it would be like to kiss them, In highschool I've had some really hard crushes. Also keep in mind that I love girls and have gone out with girls and had a relationship before and loved it! The question I want to ask is, is there something wrong with me? Are my feelings wrong? Am I a normal person? Why do I have these feelings? I apologise for my thoughts being too long and not well written. |
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