The prison visit
Submitted by Mavrick on 2002-10-13 01:57:27, Sunday
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Hi there, I thought I'd let you know what happened today at the jail visit when J and I went to visit the man that killed J's Mom. (This may be another long posting.) We arrived at the prison at 11:00 this morning. J stayed close to me the whole time we were checked in and escorted to the visiting room. There were several tables and people sitting at them. J was looking around at everyone and I had to tell him not to because some of the prisoners might get upset and that could cause a problem. After ten minutes of waiting they brought in the man. (I'm going to use his frist name to make it easier. It's Paul.) Paul sat down and shook my hand. I will admit that I was fighting to be polite and I think J was too. Paul started out by telling J that he was sorry for what he had done to his Mom. Then he asked J why J had forgiven him. J looked at me and I said "Tell him." So J did. I may not have it word for word, but this is what I remember J had said: "I am a Christian. I belive that Jesus died on the cross to pay for the sins, all the bad things, that everyone has done. Even you. I belive that three days after Christ was curcified that He rose from the dead. To me this means that he defeted death and showed us that there is life after death. I thought about how Mom belived in Chirst and I know she's with Him now. I will see her again. But it still hurts that she's not here now. The first day I saw you in the courtroom I wanted to kill you. I hated you. I'm still kinda mad at you, but I can't hate you any more. I thought about something that Dad told me after he dragged me out of the courtroom that day. He told me that if Christ could forgive me for what I do wrong I that I should forgive others when they do something wrong to me. I spent all week thinking about it. And I read my bible. And I found a passage that said that if I want to be forgiven, I have to forgive others. It took me a bit to work through it, but I knew that if I wanted to be forgiven I had to forgive you." I sat there watching this boy telling this man this and I felt such pride for him. Then, after he findished, Paul sat there just looking at J. He didn't say a word, just bit his lower lip and stared at J. I leaned forward and put my hand on J's back and said "Paul, J is telling you the truth. He said it from his heart. I din't tell him what to say. I wanted his words to be his own, no matter what he said." Paul looked at me and asked "What about you? Do you forgive me?" I put my hands on the table and looked him in the eyes. "It's not my place to forgive you. It was J's mom that was killed, not mine." Then J said "She wasn't your Mom, but she was your friend." How does that saying go? Out of the mouth of babes..... What J said hit me a bit harder than it should have, but he was right. I thought about all the time we had sat talking and drinking coffee. And how when I was sick as a dog, she would come over and fix me something to eat. And then I was fighting with my emotions. "Your right J. She was my friend. I just never relized it." I looked back at Paul and said "It is a hard thing for me to look at the man who, by his own lack of control, killed a friend. You didn't have to go out drinking that night. You could have stayed home. Or had less to drink. But you didn't. You changed the life of two people that night, J's and mine. Do I want to forgive you? No, not really. But like J said, if I want to be forgiven when I do wrong, I need to be able to forgive others. Yes, Paul, I forgive you." Somewhere along the line I lost track of something. When was it that J became so wise? Was it an exact moment in time that I just missed? Or was the Lord using him to reach me, as well as Paul? Either way, I felt like I was a chld learning from him, not the other way around. J's chin was trembling and I was fighting the tears. Again. Paul sat back and so did we. For a few moments nobody said anything, each of us lost in our own thoughts. After a few seconds I took J's hand and gave it small squeeze. He turned and looked at me and smiled jsut a little bit. His way of letting me he was alright. I sat forward and asked Paul what he wanted to see me for. He took a deep brathe and said "Can you tell what you belive and why?" Then he looked at J. "Both of you." And then he pulled a bible out from under the atble and set it down. "I have been doing some reading, but I don't understand it all." We spent the next three hours talking to Paul. J answered just as many questions as I did. When our time was up Paul asked if would write to him. I told him yes, but that he would have to send the letters to the church for the time being. I asked one of the guards for a pen to write down the address with. He came over and stayed there while I used his pen. After we were done we said goodbye to Paul and started to leave. One of the guards was going to escort us out, but another one came up and said that he would take us. It was time for his break and he was heading up front anyhow. As we signed out the guard that brought us up front said "Do you really belive what told him?" I looked him in the eyes and said "With all my heart." The guard nodded and we turned to leave, making sure we had everything we came in with. As we started to walk away the guard said "Can you answer a couple of questions for me?" So we stayed for another hour jsut answering his questions. When we were driving home J said that he was glad he had come along. I told hime I was proud of him and that I loved him for his courage. He asked me to pull over. When I put the car in park he leanded over and gave a hug. He didn't let go right away. When he finally did he said "I want you to teach me how to talk to others about Jesus the way you did today." I smiled and said "I was going to ask you to teach me that." He smiled back then got this thoughtful look on his face. "It was funny. I don't even remember what I said. I felt like I was watching myself talking to Paul and not really saying it. Know what I mean?" I put the car in drive and started off again. "I know exactly what you mean, Son." When we got home there was a message on the answering machine from the guard that we talked to. He said that he had thought about what we talked about and wanted to accept Christ as his Saviour. J smiled at me and said "That kinda makes it worth the trip, huh?" I could do nothing but agree. A side note. This morning when we eating breakfast J told me that I should sell his Mom's house so we could move to country. I saked him why and he said "I have a new life. I don't to stay here in this area. Everytime we by the house t just reminds me of how much I miss Mom." So we are moving. We are going to look at a couple of houses tomorrow after the morning services. I had started looking at some of the options in the area I wanted to move to and J is excited about house hunting. |
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