Misperceptions more like
Submitted by PlatonicDieci on 2002-12-9 22:02:47, Monday
In reply to Contradictions abound! submitted by Old Heathen Pedo on 2002-12-8 03:06:32, Sunday
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Remaining biased will not allow you to completely re-examine your beliefs in total objectivity. This is already a moot point because you have stated that you are currently living with your old beliefs! They are obviously well ingrained and you know this whole thing is a farce! All people are somewhat biased. You completely misunderstand me if you think anyone can truly consider something without their own experiences and perceptions playing a part. Even if you could be objective (you'd be an alien), you would have to have something to relate your thoughts to- and soon would be biased again. Ingrained beliefs do not equate to truthful or correct beliefs, so nothing but your assumptions are a farce. This is because there are things that you want to do that your current beliefs will not allow you to do. Where is the reasoning in that? Why change your beliefs because they don't fit your wants? On the same scale I could want to kill somebody but should I seek out beliefs that would allow me to do so? That is unhealthy thinking It is mostly because there are things I've seen and heard that displace my old views. Certainly a part of me wants to believe what I'm arguing for, but it's tempered by the desire to do what is right. Your analogy cannot even equate, because it involves death and violence. I am not seeking just any belief that would justify any desires I have, I am seeking truth to balance the experiences I've had with the God I love. In your example a person would only have to decide that murder was positive, and that their view was the only one that mattered. I am looking for God's view, and claiming that's the only one that matters. I do hope the beliefs pounded into your head included being taught the difference between right and wrong! God forbid you were raised by a pack of wolves and taught to kill and take dominance over others! If I was raised to believe the world was flat and that eating meat was an abomination to God, should I hold to those beliefs no matter what I experience? Even if I see holy men eating meat and learn all about the globe? I know the difference between right and wrong- to be in God's will and love is right, to live outside of it is wrong. The task at hand is defining if sexual expression between two non-monogamous Christians, of the same sex and significantly differing ages, who deeply love each other, is possibly within God's will. This is going to be your fatal mistake! If you cannot draw on your own experiences to see that this is wrong then you wouldn't be here questioning it! I've yet to see an AF/YF sexual relationship that was completely and totally without some kind of tilted logic behind it. The apple on the tree looked good to Eve and she believed what the snake was telling her even though she new better! Will you choose to believe the snake or will you choose to believe what you already know as truth? If I draw on my own experiences exclusively I do see it is right, actually. That is why I'm here questioning it. You may have never seen a AF/YF sexual relationship that wasn't stable and loving, but I have. I've also seen the after effects of such a relationship. If it was a rotten apple, the seeds wouldn't have grown into a beautiful tree. You need to determine if this person is indeed your YF or a peer. It cannot be both! The definition of a YF is one where age or mental capacity brings them to a level where they depend on you for support and guidance. Sounds to me like he is a peer now that you've explained further but I question and you should question why you label him as a YF! He has become over many years a peer, but he is still younger and still a friend. His age and our unique bond and intimacy will always characterize him as a YF to me. Even if one day the roles are reversed and I look to him as he once looked to me. The question of if my YF is to be called a YF has absolutely nothing to do with the topic though. Then where is the questioning of beliefs coming from? Certainly you've thought of this person in a sexual way or you're planning for the future! Now which is it? Are you thinking of finding new beliefs that fit his own? My questioning comes from my experiences. I have close relationships with other BLs who do have relationships similar to what I'm describing. I, once again, do not and will not with my current YF. He desires to be emotionally intimate and physically affectionate- and so we are. Quit trying to pull him into things. I must have said something that made people believe I am currently or am considering becoming sexual with someone I know-- it's simply not true. I do sincerely hope that is what you intend because I believe that God would not want to see you carry out the actions you're seeking to justify here! His teachings tell us about selfishness, for one. If I was aiming to create beliefs that would satisfy selfishness I could easily become a ChildMolester, I could easily disavow God and travel on, I could even press my YF for sexual pleasure and no doubt gain it. I will never do any of the above. What I am talking about is loving sexual intimacy in which one person serves another. Sex is abuse if someone is using the other person to serve themselves. Good! I now have your attention! I love all my Christian brothers and even sisters but unlike our dear brother Bach and others I will not candy-coat my beliefs when I see a brother about to talk himself into stepping off a cliff! At least I have your attention of a response and the response of Bach, while very to the point as was mine, goes unresponded to. I hope you read it anyway. Bach's post was unresponded to for two reasons, first I worked from the bottom up and didn't have time to respond to his when I responded to yours. Secondly his makes me think and pray- yours on the other hand only requires me to think as I respond. To be honest, I consider Bach a close friend of mine- and I knew him before I ever posted here on CBF. So don't believe for a moment your words reach deeper than his. I am a follower of Christ and Christ is a follower of me mostly because he needs to kick my ass once in awhile to get me back on track! It should also be apparent that this conversation pushes the outer limits of what can be allowed here and what has to be deleted. Additionally I've made reference to AF/YF relationships that are best left a mystery in the same way that "Questioning" has done below. Mans law is not always God's law! I'm glad you're a Christian. I know this conversation pushes the limits here, but it doesn't cross them. I am not doing anything illegal, though I know according to the law of the land advocating someone to do something illegal may be considered illegal itself. Again, at the risk of being overly redundant, I am not nor will be sexual with my YF- our relationship is not one that falls into the category of what I'm discussing. Peace and Love, Plato |
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