help...
Submitted by Scott on March 12 1999 at 19:53:03
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I am facing a small problem, and I would appreciate any input any of y'all might have. I am in an intimate relationship with my woman. I am struggling to decide whether or not our relationship is right or wrong (we are not married). Sex is an occasional, physical expression of our love for one another. It is by no means the defining part of our relationship. We both struggle with the Godly part of our relationship, and whether or not our physical love fits in there anywhere. I will (maybe) be working this summer at a Christian camp. Several weeks ago, my future boss (and I have worked for him for two summers, a couple of years ago) flew down to speak to us. (She works there as well.) He questioned us about our relationship, specifically the sexual part of it. He feels that we cannot present a "moral lifestyle" to the kids, as the camp's philosophy is against pre-marital sex, as are most Christians. As I mentioned earlier, I feel that if two people love each other, and are in a monogamous, committed relationship, it might be okay. I do not strictly condone premarital sex, the issue is merely kind of on the back burner for the moment, until I get several other things straightened out. He wants us to lay off the physical side of things, which only happens occasionally anyhow, and also to become involved with a mentor, to ensure some sort of accountability. I have two main issues with his requests. I would like very much to work as his camp, as I have spent several months preparing a new program for him. The first is that I do not want a mentor right now, and I would not be comfortable with anyone he might agree to. The second, for me, is slightly larger. As a boylover, I often find myself falling into lust for boys I come into contact with and develop relationships with (non-sexual relationsips). When I can release some energy and physical arousal by being with my girlfriend, I have less tendency to fall into the trap of lust for my young friends. I can then concentrate on more Godly ways of being friends to these young boys. His request has left me in a state of confusion, and I have struggled for over a week with his questions and requests. I would appreciate any suggestions, as I need to give him an answer in several days. With wandering feet, but a faithful heart, Scott |