By God's grace I saw him.
Submitted by pedro on August 09 1999 at 19:43:49
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Hello everyone-- Many of you know something of my life the last year; of truth and consequences, and hell to pay. I told the truth of my love, and have lived with the consequences. I have doubted I would ever see the boy I am in love with (and have been for a year) ever again. In December I had a moment of grace; I did see him. I thanked God for it, knowing that might be the last time. But then I had another in February. Both times I told him I loved him. But now six months without laying eyes on him; this time, surely, never again. But last Friday, by God's grace, I (fighting back tears now. . .) saw him again. We talked. Other adults around knew precisely how I felt about him. I asked if I should leave, but they said it was okay: stay. He has grown of course. But this shy boy, this boy who even when I spent lots of time with him often took time to warm up to me; this time, he looked right into my eyes. Maybe I had helped him. Maybe he was just growing up. Maybe he still loves me. I wanted to touch him but did not; I feared I might never be able to let go. And I wondered what effect seeing him would have on me. Would it make things even harder? So far, the answer seems to be no. I am just happier now, grateful, more able to move on with other things. More able to wait in the hope that love-truth will yet win. I love you, my beautiful prince. --Pedro |