Some thoughts on purity
Submitted by Ben on October 07 1999 at 19:47:11
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A while ago a minister in my church gave a sermon on sexual purity. Specifically, he talked about his daily struggle with lusting even though he is married. He doesn't even look at beautiful women (we can insert 'boy' here for our own purposes) in public, but instead forces himself to turn away and to remove himself from ANY situation which would allow him to think about another woman. If you read through the NT, particularly Paul's letters, the issue of purity is absolutely rampant. A small example: Colossians 3:5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. We do know that Paul struggled himself with a 'thorn' in his own flesh, and his fixation on maintaining purity gives us every reason to believe that Paul had his own sexual problems to deal with. I left the sermon realizing that I needed to give purity more thought. On one hand, allowing oneself to have impure thoughts is so likely to lead to impure fantasies, masterbation, unfaithfulness (for those who are married) and child abuse (often, but not always, in the case of pedophiles). In my case, impurity led always to masterbation, which led to addiction to pornography and also to becoming a complete slave to quenching my thirst for sexual fantasy. There is no question that impurity led to a terrible life for me. This is an excellent argument for me to remain pure. On the other hand, this minister was so obsessed with purity that he became a slave of his suppressed desire for sin. To ignore the beauty of women in the world (or for me, the beauty of boys....and they ARE beautiful!) is to deny the nature that God used to give me many of the talents that I have for working with boys. Were I to walk away from every cute boy, I can name hundreds whose lives may have lacked something that I gave to them. God wants me to smell the flowers, and to enjoy the sunsets, which he also created. Why would he want me to ignore the most beautiful thing that he ever created? Yet, I can push the argument further and reach a point where boys seem too beautiful to be arguably sources for a sin! This logic is faulty and dangerous. What seems good and feels good is not necessarily. Arriving at the truth of what God wants from me is the challenge, and one that I would like to hear more feedback on. Here are a couple of disconnected conclusions that I have considered: a) It is because of the allure of beauty of boys and the potential for my actions to turn sinful, I need God daily to rescue me from myself. In a way, my sinful nature gives me a need for God. b) God fully expects me to enjoy the beauty of boys and also expects me to enjoy that beauty in a pure way. I look forward to hearing your views. You are not alone. Ben |