Awww....TQ
Submitted by Faith Elliston on November 01 1999 at 22:46:07
In reply to Would That I Could Submitted by Triple Q on November 01 1999 at 22:25:15
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Hey there, You know TQ, for years my life was so full of just tons of problems and lots of hurt. And I had no idea why it had to be me. The years I was being abused my room was out in the garage(literally)and there were so many nites I would lay out there all by myself crying, "Why God, why is all of this happening to me?" One night I even prayed for my Father(he died when I was 3)to just come to me and sit with me that one nite b/c I was crying so hard and hurting so bad, and out there in pitch darkness the part of my bed where my feet were laying started to sink in like someone was sitting down next to me. I freaked out!! I really did, years went by and I never thought anymore about that, and I think I forgot to pray and who to pray to. My life was a total mess,I had one child and his father dumped me, moved to another state on my own, it seemed like one bad thing after another was happening to me and I didn't know why, what to do about it. Then the bottom fell out. I was raped by a stalker(someone I worked with) and ended up in a women's shelter. At that shelter they gave me some counseling(none of it Christian)and got me ready to go back on my own into that mean, nasty world. When I finally did get my own apartment and was out, I was headed down that same road again. One of my lady friends from the shelter came over several times and invited me to a Christian Single Mothers meeting, they met every friday nite. I refused numerous times, then after another bad event, one that left her and a few others worried about me, she just told me to come with her. I went and continued going to meetings on Friday nites, we got together one New Years Eve and I told them all "you know, I always wondered why me? I just don't understand why", I promise you one of those ladies looked across the table at me and she told me "Don't you see? You are so special, God loved you so much and knew that you would make it thru this, and Now you have to figure out what your supposed to do with it". Well can't say that I ever really figured out all of what that meant, but I think I've decided on a few things. #1 God knew that i would end up where I am today, I'm a good person, a good Mother and a Good wife. I might not have been those things if it hadn't been for my lousey childhood. I think you probably have the same type heart I do. Very loving, giving, nurturing....... #2 I decided that what I'm supposed to do is share my testimony with others so that other parents/kids will know that they aren't they only ones out there hurting, and its up to us(the ones that have been abused) to help get that point across to the rest of our nation. I know your not a Christian TQ, but the principles are all the same. Don't let your past determine your future, let your past just be those stepping stones that lifted you up to that better part of your life. My Stepfather (the one who abused me) is a Christian now, I still don't talk to him or have much to do with him but he knows this and he knows why, do you know that he is rebuilding a truck for my husband now?? Go figure, I have no idea why, we didn't ask for it, he's doing it all out of his pocket,on his own. The only thing I can figure is he knows what my husband means to me, and this is part of his way of saying he's sorry. I don't know. I hope this helped you some, I just felt I needed to share that with you and I'll remember you in my prayers tonite. Keep Smilin! |