Need love, not hate
Submitted by KPK/PPC on November 17 1999 at 20:04:47
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Hello, Please don't delete me nor that I am allowed to post directly here. I am a old jaded deaf christian gay teenboy-lover with a lot of anger and hatreds for other... I apologize for it because I did not have much choice other than going with a time consuming proxy person - Dgennero, in order to post this... 1) How can I find my spirituality back with it much better once more (Warning: I am 1/2 Native American and being deaf gay with tons of problems with christian churches that do hose me off and making me be angry and being spiteful with them for 10 years since...) again? I remember I was so sweet and good christian deaf kid... No longer, all lost now long since when I aged. 2) There is no christian (hippie-Native American) churches that can serve both deaf/gay christians. I do believe by now they just don't exist. 3) How do I get rid of my anger and hatreds toward other, even to your own christian people? (Christian BL's are new to me). 4) I really need your prayers for me so I can recover from it all and become be a better person forever... If God spoke to me in my dreams (I did had a few of them before in a way, some really strange dreams with prophecies) tonight, then that would change me a lot overnight. Like McStrooge of Xmas story in a way. You know? 5) I only really want Real Love - God is a True Love. Not all of hatreds and such ugliness of this world that I grew up with and became being so tired of dwelling in it up to my age because it was all I could understand, and in some ways, it was killing me off slowly with my mind, soul and my being too. To hugs everyone who can hug me as human being for who I am, and really love them for who they are, not to make war with them at all. Truth is, I do treat ALL of BL's to Sadvocates everybody who hated me as equal and my enemies and I am not joking, that's how I see them that way, partly based on the fact they are all hearing ones. No less. 6) I still believe in the Tribulations and 2nd Coming of Christ - The real future for this world that have no real love to be destroyed completely for it have no real love in it all and be cleanesed and transformed completely for the best in the next era of Jesus' Kingdom for next a thousand years upon this world, all since I was a 13 yrs old deaf gay teenboy when I first started to know about it since. The Blessed Hope - Rapture... What I was really hoping for since that time. For a few reasons: to get rid of my deafness forever, to live forever with a new eternal life with God Himself (as kings of King) with real future which does not exist on this world with my own lousy life and uncertain worldly future. But from above. I rather not to say more, it's part of my longtime anger for them all who had wronged us in our past and even now by today since I was a boy... Just think of it like "Noah's Ark and the Flood" but only very different for 2nd time around by God Himself very soon, for this Old World Order... I am just thinking like maybe 2010's-3000+ A.D. so far beyond after the time of the Antichrist and the final destruction of this Old World Order at end of the time. When there is true time LOVE and Peace forever. Child lie with a lion and play with snake... You all know that. Well, I dunno... I know you don't know who you're dealing with, but I am almost a prophet, and Jim doesn't understand me either. But I am living in my own physical state right now, I am not a saint, and I am in a great pains and yes, I do need your help... That's our next 2nd Spiritual Life we're trying come to, we need to help each other and struggle along together even if we fall flat on our faces along the way. Life is very unforgiving and harsh on this world as we know it is of today. ((Bowing to you all)) And I thank you for your serious attention with love and care, KPK |