There is another contradiction in your post though which I don't think anyone can satisfactorily explain away: you say that God did NOT create you BL and yet you also say 'the way God has shaped me through those experiences'. But the question then remains: if God didn't who did?

I don't really see this as a contradiction (though maybe I didn't state it as well as I could have). I believe I have been shaped by many things. We live in a broken, fallen world -- that has shaped me. I have been shaped by my environment ... by my parents ... by my childhood experiences ... by other people's choices and beliefs ... by my own choices and beliefs ... and by a myriad of other factors.

But, mostly importantly, I have ALSO been shaped by God. Romans 8:28 says:

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

And I really believe that. Despite all the negative shaping I have experienced in my life, God has somehow turned it around and used it for good. In the perspective of eternity, His shaping is more of significance and value than everything else put together.

Blessings,
Rainboy