I'm thinking you've got this more together than I've ever been able to! You need to talk with people who actually stayed on the gay scene. I've no idea about protection for example [though I saw a programme about it once!]
and yeah you're probably right about not going - only once you get into it and you've friends who are on the scene as well that might be harder to do. It depends how long you stay on the scene I guess.
It does strike me though that the gay scene is a lifestyle rather than just a saturday night thing because the 'straight' world can seem pretty remote and irrelevant once you've started on that path.
I did meet quite a few gay couples at MCC who stopped going on the scene once they got together so it is possible to meet the right guy . . . .there were also some couples who considered themselves christians who had an 'open' relationship. They lived together but often went out for sex with other men. That's quite hard to figure. I nearly had a relationship with a guy when I was on the scene who was pretty obsessive about needing sex and because I had such trouble with that the relationship was doomed from the start. That was another reason I gave up. I guess I was just too BL to cope.
For the single gay who opts out of the scene the world can be a lonely place.