Last night I was watching the Hallmark Channel just because I was bored with the rest of the t.v. programing and of course they were having a bunch of special shows centered around Valentine's Day. It must be one of the biggest holidays for Hallmark I guess. So I sat and watched for a couple of hours at one romance-centered show or movie after another. I can't remember the names of the shows I watched but I do remember that they all affected me the same. I kept getting something in my eyes and this big lump in my throat. You know, being a BL isn't an easy thing...it's a difficult thing. The only thing I have to compare with the experiences of other Hetero or even Gay adults is the one relationship I had years ago with my YF. And I have no idea if that experience will ever be repeated in my lifetime. I cannot have a romantic relationship with an adult, so the only thing I can do is hope that some day I will be able to have another YF.

So....thanks Hallmark Channel! I should have switched the station to HBO or something but I guess I'm a glutton for punishment or torture. Oh well, at least one of the shows was a Christian kind of thing; that was good.