I'm a bi-sexual southern baptist. Everytime I feel any attraction to anyone i feel completely cut off from God. As though I'm standing in a freezing cold, pitch black room wrapped in fear. I feel guilt over my sexuallity as well as hatred for myself over it and my uncertanty in life(including a long-term profession). A few months ago my church "family" had a discussion about gay's and pedo's. I admit to weakness during this and thus painfully just nodded and agreed to everything they said. Now everytime I see any of them I feel as though they are aware of my sexuallity and are judging/ridiculing me for it. Ever since I stopped going to avoid the fear/awkwardness of the situation, using my job as an excuse. I also realize the stupidity of my decision and the horrible timing of it, but im afraid of facing them again. I'm at a loss. I know I should'nt stop attending services simply out of fear but I'm terrified of returning or of hurting some friends by trying different churches.