I'm truly sorry for your pain. I've felt it myself. But I think there's something I need to point out. You say that all it takes is one cute boy to make you feel you've found the missing piece in your life. I've seen this theme repeated countless times in other posts. It's always a cute boy that makes a boylover feel whole. I'm not critisizing you. I feel the same way. But we need to recognize that since it's a cute boy that seems to fill our needs, it's more of a sexual attraction than an emotional one. Yes, the emotional attraction is there, but sexual attractions can be a very strong factor. If we recognize this and acknowledge it, we can to some degree put it in it's proper context. It's a basic human lure that while strong, does not have to dominate our lives. Try to recognize it for what it is, a basic physical need. Then try to cultivate your emotional needs. It's not a perfect solution, but it can be done.

Dakota