living as a single SSA guy in an ordinary church

Insinuating that United Church of Christ, Presbyterian Church (USA), and other denominations that don't have a problem with gay marriage are not "ordinary".

theology that legitimates gay sex.

Assumes that your position (that gay sex is forbidden) is the defaul and that anyone who disagrees must "legitimate" it.

the 'theology' of gay relationships crumbles away.

As if there even is a theology of gay relationships (there isn't).