Welcome to Our Premier Issue

What Is Boylove?

Shame, Fear, Love, and the Gospel
"It is wrong for me to exist."

When Two Worlds Collide
"The two worlds had never before met.  What would happen?  Would both come crashing down?"

Growing Together
"I have seen him grow from a shy, reclusive pre-adolecent, probably still full of pain, into a young man of great respect..."

We Need Each Other
"...it has quite a confusing and frustrating impact on us as Christians."

Burning Coals
"There are two great dangers in being persecuted."

On-line resources

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God; for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." No, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head."  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. --Romans 12:19-21

These words, which we hear when sitting in church, are hard to remember when we meet someone with evil in his heart. And there is no doubt, for those of us who participate in the boylove forums on the Internet, that we will meet such people.

They come, some of them in great earnestness and with a desire to save sinners, others with no thought in mind but destruction. In a way, the first type of flamer is harder to confront. It is easy enough to know what to say when you meet someone who declares, "Anyone who is sexually attracted to a boy will burn in hell forever." But what can be said to someone who cries, "Hate the sin, love the sinner," and then in the next moment tells you that God hates you?

At such moments, our greatest peril - for those of us who are boylovers and those of us who offer what support we can to boylovers - is not that we will respond with anger and hatred. Our greatest peril is that we will respond with arrogance.

There are two great dangers in being persecuted. One is that you will come to hate yourself without reason. The other danger, far worse, is that you will become smug and self-satisfied, convinced that you are better than your enemies. Yet if you weren't born this way, can you be sure how you would feel toward boylovers?

So, yes, the people who come onto boylove forums spewing venom are to be pitied, but the pity needs to extend to ourselves, for we might act similarly under similar circumstances. I've heard more than one boylover say with lethal anger, "I'd kill anyone who hurt my young friend." Is that any different from the words of the flamers who visit us?

Over and over I've heard boylovers speak about using violence towards those who hurt boys. Anyone who holds that sentiment can only argue about who should be murdered; he can't complain about the use of words like "torture" and "castrate" by those who believe that all boylovers hurt boys.

So I believe that there is a better way to deal with the problem of flamers than getting angry at them; there is a better way even than feeling superior to them. Love the flamers. Love them, knowing that you are in no way better than them except in this very act of loving those whom you believe are causing harm.

Heather Elizabeth Peterson is a religion journalist.   She edits the online magazine Philia, which carries interfaith news for adults who are attracted to minors.