Re: First Post (Part 7) -- looking for a cure (LONG)
Submitted by Bach on August 28 2000 17:34:44
In reply to First Post (Part 7) -- looking for a cure (LONG) submitted by FeelingDirty on August 28 2000 07:00:16
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Hi Fundido, Welcome to CBF. I'm glad that you took the time to post your story, it is a struggle that many of us share on a daily basis. What does it really mean to live with this attraction and be a Christian? Does true altruism really exist? I think we all have mixed motives. It definitely isn't something that is special to BLs or to Christians. People do things for others, but often that gives them satisfaction as well. So even "sacrificing yourself for others" has a "payback", so to speak, for the "doer". You said: Are you really concerned about their welfare if your desire to care for them stems from an underlying sexual attraction for them? I often wonder about these things and feel that her son and I are both better off if we never see each other again. The other side of this is: are you really caring for them by leaving? and , do you think that the sexual attraction negates the good things you have given the relationship? Do you *really* believe that the boy is better off without you? What if the relationship had never occured because you were too afraid to get involved due to the sexual attraction. I believe that the family would have suffered a great loss to NOT have known you. You said: I'm really not looking for anyone to make me feel comfortable about my sexual feelings. I know many of you think it's okay to feel this way. I don't agree -- it makes me feel awful to be tempted in a way that would hurt a boy. I say: Do you believe that God wants you to feel dirty, shameful and guilty about your sexuality? My answer for myself is no. I believe that God has given me this sexuality to care for His children and one another. How could I live a fulfilling life if I was constantly trying to be something I'm not... I have no sexual attraction to women whatsoever. Don't get me wrong, here, Fundido, I do not approve of sexual contact between men and boys. So, if you are looking for someone to help support you in a no-sex stance, I'm your man. But, if you're looking for somebody to tell you to pray to God to change you, that you should be ashamed of yourself and feel guilty for your feelings and feel inferior until these desires go away, I can't do that, man. One thing is very important-- we need to discover God's will together. By journeying in community we are more able to see clearly. And I know that God has a plan for each one of us. The link below goes to a forum for recovering offenders called Healing Together. They explore ways of making sure they don't re-offend. There are some pedophiles who participate there who have never offended, but who seek community so that they can remain accountable. I hope that you stick around. Together we can find the answers. Peace of Christ, Bach |
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