Relationships
Submitted by Nash on December 04 2000 09:19:30
|
Hello All, I was reading an earlier post about relationships and wanted to say something about it, my experience. The last steady girlfriend i had was back in high school. people these days think that what is important is what another person looks like on the outside even though there is a lot of love and caring on the inside. I do not consider myself attractive so have not had any relationships. I know i have a lot of love to give someone but nobody wants it. I have gone through extremes just to have somebody in my life. Earlier this year i dropped everything and moved to another state to have a relationship with somebody i met on the internet.TWICE. Once to be with a man and another with a woman. Neither one worked. I would like to have my own family and kids, but think it is impossible for me. Since i am a boylover i thought i could find that love with another man, but i can not. Well maybe i still can. I guess me and that guy just didn't click. I am most happy being in a relationship with a boy. A nonsexual relationship of course. To be in the life of a boy is rewarding. Just to be his friend, spend time together, go out on activities etc. And especially to be a mentor to him. But with my experience, that relationship does not last a long time. Because they move or whatever. Then i am lonely again and am hurt over them leaving. My question is "Do i have to go through this pain with every friendship i have with a boy?" I do believe so. Even though i do not like the pain afterwards, i will gladly accept it. It is a small price to pay in exchange for being happy and cared about in a boys life if even for a short time. With my present job working at a boys group home, it is very rewarding for me. I am there with them and teaching them independent living skills so when they are out on their own in the future they can live on their own and function in society. I have 3 boys i work with there. a 7,9 and 10 year old. I am blessed to be a part of their lives. They are there for being either abused, neglected or abandoned. The 10 year old has had a rough chidhood and craves the attention i give him as do the others but more so with him. His dad is dead and his mom lives on the streets. I feel so sorry for him and want to be in his life forever. Last week he actually said that he wants me to be his dad and he hugged me. It really touched me. I would love to be his dad, but is it possible? He would be the son i have always wanted. I better go i'm starting to ramble. Thanks for reading my post. God Bless you All. Peace. Nash |
Follow ups: