David...
Submitted by Derek on December 20 2000 00:50:49
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There sure are a lot of posts here lately... it's wonderful! Unfortunately, David and I can't seem to make e-mail contact. Go figure. Perhaps God is with us, keeping us from communicating. :) I do sincerely apologize for repeatedly using the board for personal communications, but it looks like perhaps I don't have much choice. Well, hmm, I've got something else I might mention. I've talked with some ppl in my church about this struggle I've got trying to understand and make sense of what God's telling me to do. Specifically, homosexuality: I've got some ideas, I've got the bible, the Spirit, people in my church, all telling me things... and they don't match up. So I'm totally confused as to what God wants me to do. This has been the case for quite some time now. Looking at other areas of spiritual growth, I've noticed a trend. God never takes the first step. I always have to step out in faith and trust that God will carry me further. And he does. Give up your house, your family, etc. to follow God and He will give you a hundred times the houses and family in return. So I figured maybe I should do something related to homosexuality and have faith that God will teach me. Now, my first thought was to step out in faith and find a boyfriend... and then see what God does with it, whether he blesses the relationship or turns my life into hell. But then I talked to my minister about it and he gave me another idea. He suggested that it might be safer to take a step in the other direction: to spend some time living as if homosexual activity of any sort is against God's will... and see how God responds. So I'm trying to decide if/how I should go about doing this. I definitely want to do something, and I definitely understand the reasoning for going the route of purity instead of a relationship... but my concern is that I won't be doing anything specifically in the area of homosexuality, so how can I expect a resonse from God in that area? Sure I'd be playing it safe, but when has it been good to play it safe? Jesus' apostles risked their lives daily in faith... shouldn't I not be willing to risk my life to further my relationship with God? But, on the other hand, getting into a relationship invites all sorts of lust and other bad things, and certainly that can't be good... so I don't know what to do. So, I guess I'm looking for input. I definitely know I should do something to pursue wisdom and knowledge in this area... but what? -- Derek |
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