A matter of humility and of discipline
Submitted by Ford Prefect on February 20 2001 12:53:00
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The message I posted here the other day was clearly the product of frustration. A frustration whose only resolution had to come from within. It was necessary that I recognize and confront two basic problems within myself before this resolution could come about. 1. A matter of humility. I've frequently stated here that my purpose is to share myself and what I've learned with others and this is true. My unstated and hidden (even from myself) wish was to be known as a kind of God's gift to boylovers. The irony is that this is exactly what each of us is.....but the desire to be known and recognized as such gets in the way of our giving. Well, it has in my case. Getting that recognition (when it's what we seek) makes matters even worse. Instead of being satisfied, we simply want more. Humility comes in recognizing ourselves as sons of God and that it's all pure gift....one to be shared rather than displayed so others will give us praise. 2. A matter of discipline. I've also frequently stated that my purpose here is not religious debate. And yet....I've engaged in it on a more or less continual basis. I truly believe that, for me, such debate is contrary to my purpose here in that being believed becomes more important than being there. If I'm to truly share my life, then it must be without the expectation of seeing what I think of as positive results from this sharing. This is no longer sharing, it's convincing. So, to keep from becoming primarily a debator, I need to exercise disipline that I've failed so far to exercise. I must resist the often delicious temptation to include a little slam at someone else's beliefs when I state my own. I must recognize that I can't prevent others from posting messages I'll find offensive. I must recognize that I'll sometimes be angered or even enraged by some things I read here. But, I must be willing to exercise the discipline necessary to keep from responding to such messages......especially when I'm angered. Only with such discipline will I be able to share as I wish. Pray with me that I may find both the humility and the discipline I need. ---Ford |
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