Oh please help me
Submitted by tigris on January 1 2002 20:32:28
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Hey guys. I have spent the last two weeks or so away from my YF that I frequently obsessed over. The two weeks did me a lot of good and helped me to clear my head. I prayed about it a lot and thought that I was over a lot of my obsession. It was a great feeling. Well, I see him tomorrow for the first time in two weeks. I am scared. I am scared that I am going to go down the same path that I have been down before. It is not fun to be that attached to someone and hanging on their every word and action. I was taking everything he said and did personally. My identity was wrapped up in his approval. It was so wrong, but I couldn't seem to break away from it. It was a horrible, dark period in my life (and it was only two weeks ago). I am so so scared that it's going to happen all over again. I am starting to obsess over not obsessing, if that makes sense. I think that a big part of my obessing was related back to an incredible fear of lonliness. These demons of lonliness always seem to plague me. My only way of escape seems to be spending time with this boy. I feel like I have this partly figured out, but I don't know how to overcome it. Like I said, I am so so scared about what's going to happen tomorrow when I see him again. Please remember to pray for me, ok? I feel like screaming sometimes out of frustration, but I know that the screaming won't do me any good. I don't want to be like this any more. I'm sick of it. Does anyone know of a good verse to memorize when my thoughts start going out of control? I feel like such a needy, neurotic person writing all of this out. I'm sorry that I appear that way. I guess it's just reality though. I need help and don't know what to do. I'm just so scared. tigris |
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