A NEW BEGINNING.
Submitted by Non Human. on 2002-06-8 11:20:46, Saturday
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WELL, AT LAST I FIND MY OWN KIND - MORE OR LESS. I SUPPOSE IF I AM TO EXPECT ANYTHING, I WOULD DO WELL TO GIVE A SYNOPSIS OF MY BL LIFE. FROM THE AGE OF SIX I HAVE HAD AN ATTRACTION TO BOYS. AT THE AGE OF TWELVE I HAD MY FIRST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE - AN EXPERIMENT BETWEEN FRIENDS LONG GONE. SINCE THEN I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING TO GET THE ATTRACTION OUT OF MY HEAD, BUT HAVE LEARNED TO LIVE WITH IT. I WAS ALWAYS ATTRACTED TO THE YOUTH BY THE SWIMMING POOL, ONE IN PARTICULAR (LET US CALL HIM "B"). HE LEFT FOR ANOTHER COUNTRY AFTER WE BECAME FRIENDS. FOR SOME STRANGE REASON, HE HAUNTED MY MEMORIES EVER SINCE THEN. AT THE AGE OF 16 I LEFT MY HOME COUNTRY TO SETTLE IN ANOTHER. IN A FIT OF DEPRESSION, I CONTEMPLATED MASS HOMICIDE AT MY SCHOOL AND THEN SUICIDE. ONE WEEK FROM CARRYING IT OUT, MY PARENTS TOOK ME TO VISIT ONE OF THEIR FRIENDS, AND THERE I FOUND "B". HE REMEMBERED ME AND WE STARTED TO TALK. HE WAS 11 AT THE TIME. TO CUT A LONG STORY SHORT, I NEVER WENT THROUGH WITH MY PLAN. "B" AND I ARE BEST FRIENDS, HE TELLS ME THAT HE LIKES ME BETTER THAN HIS YOUNGER BROTHER. "B" IS FOURTEEN, AND I AM NINETEEN. OUR PARENTS ENCOURAGE OUR RELATIONSHIP, TELLING ME THAT I AM A GOOD MENTOR. I SUPPOSE THAT IS PART OF THE JOB, AND I DO MY UTMOST TO MAKE SURE HE DOES NOT HAVE TO GO THROUGH WHAT I WENT THROUGH WHEN I WAS YOUNGER. A FEW WEEKS AGO I PLUCKED UP THE COURAGE TO TELL HIM WHAT HE HAS DONE (HOW HE PREVENTED ME FROM COMMITTING SUICIDE) AND HOW I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT HIM, HOW I LOVE HIM MORE THAN ANYBODY IN THE WORLD. HE HAS NEVER TOLD ME THAT HE LOVES ME, BUT WE ALWAYS HUG WHEN WE GREET EACH OTHER AND SAY GOODBYE. I OFTEN FANTASISE ABOUT HIM, SEXUALY AND IN WAYS THAT I COULD COMFORT HIM SHOULD ANYTHING BAD HAPPEN TO HIM (LIKE HIS DAD SHOUTING, COPING WITH CHANGES IN HIS BODY, ETC.) I WOULD LIKE ADIVICE ON HOW TO GET THE MOST FROM THIS RELATIONSHIP. HE IS MY ONE AND ONLY. IF HE HAD TO DIE, SO WOULD I. TRULY IN LOVE, NON HUMAN |
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