Sin for a greater good...need help/advice
Submitted by A Mentor on June 29 2000 23:22:45
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Friends, I need your advice! I, 42, began a journey with a young Christian (YC), 22 this past November. The meeting of this young man was quite by chance; I knew by January, fully by the hand of God . I had seen so much pain and confusion in his eyes the day we met. Although I have been a fallen Christian for many years, I remained very spiritual and continued to believe in God and the teachings of the Bible. After testing the Spirits and this relationship many times, I was certain that I had been blessed with many gifts that were only useful for his benefit and been totally released of sin in my heart shortly after his arrival in my life. By the second time YC had visited my home, I had found out on my own that he had recently been released from jail due to violating a restraining order against domestic violence – driving by a 12 year old's home on his way home around the corner. The restraining order was the result of numerous letters he had written expressing his love and concern for the boy. I clearly received an understanding that there was nothing physical between the two of them but that YC had a significant need to share his deep compassion and love with this 12 year old due to very similar circumstances in the way they both had grown up – a wicked step-mother and step-siblings. YC had lost his family because of this and nearly everyone thought him to be something that he was not. Because of my coming on to him with such vigor and force and offering him unconditional love and compassion he needed to distance himself from me a while to discern what to do. In the beginning, he chose to express a deception that he had to leave town for a week due to his mother dying – something that I was hesitant to believe and knew that he, on his own would rectify at some point, which he did. He further had a strong desire to go overseas for a week, and didn't fully have the funding to go ... he ask to stay with my family through the holidays absent telling of his desire to go overseas. He stayed through the holidays, despite having living arrangements of his own, and we all had the best Christmas ever...there was so much love in my home, the likes that has never been before. To make a long story short, There is little of each of our deep personal thoughts and desires that the other does not know. I have experienced a great many things in my life, both personally and in business. And, have shared many of these experiences with YC. YC's personality is such that he receives a vision of something and is hell bent to go after it, seemingly to the exclusion of all else in his life for a period of time. Until my first deception upon YC, was so naive that he would believe you if you told him the sky was green. At one point, he expressed his understanding of his love for young boys (12 to 13) and understood this to be because of the manner in which he was raised and had no companionship of this age group growing up. He then further was of the belief that he, despite being heterosexual, had a desire to have a significant loving relationship (up to and including the full range of sex if it came to pass) with a male of his own age group. This initial deception was via email and was that I was a priest and knew of many things about him. This deception went on for several weeks until the right time came about to share things with him ... upon realizing that I in fact was telling him the truth, in person, that there was not priest, he almost immediately lost all naivety and grew significantly. YC has always been of the belief and conviction that Romans was the definitive rule for relationships between men and women, despite having the desires in his heart described above. However, he continued to persist in this area until I ultimately told him that there was no sin in a relationship between two men so long as there was Love in one's heart for the other. He still questioned his desires while questioning his belief and conviction to Romans. My second deception – no sin so long as love is between two individuals – and I am not so sure that this is totally wrong.......despite the commandment that a man shall lay with no one like he does with his wife. Ultimately, I lay with him, several times with mutual masturbation occurring – he having hesitation all the while but continuing to seek online romance and love with individuals his own age, ultimately meeting one – and being turned off due to the other only wanting sex. Then, deciding to ultimately go be with another in a short time in the future. But, see below... YC over the past six months, and I allowed this to occur but had not fully implemented a strong departure; had become significantly dependant upon me both emotionally, religiously and financially. The two of us are in business together – me training him in an avocation. The timing for him to become independent was logically and planned by the both of us to occur in August by his attending college. On one prior occasion he had sought advice and tested our relationship on a religious level. Concluding that things were ok. Because of a significant legal issue, YC has been "fishing" for the last three weeks to avoid things. During this time, he met up with an individual who, slightly younger, was in a similar relationship, but in ways significantly worse.... lots of full blown sex between the two with a very dominating and controlling individual. Neither of the two young men being fiscally responsible with credit extended for them by the older person. This younger individual took YC to meet a spiritual leader who ultimately told him that I was Satan and he should totally part from me, despite YC having no resources to do so nor they providing any advice as to how or any other assistance. YC has now brought his thinking fully around to what it should be on a biblical basis in accordance to Roman's but cannot/will not fully depart from me. YC is ready in some ways, to get up and leave to parts unknown but is very confused as to what to do – legal issues still not resolved. The unfortunate thing being, GOD has his own timing for things, His and my timing did not meet for my deception to come to light under the right circumstances. I have explained why I did what I did, but know nothing else to say. I can't discern whether I was fully wrong to have done these things, but ultimately, the right result came about. I can find no biblical support for what I have done. It seems we both continue to love each other as we should, as a brother in Christ, but this chasm is between us. He still needs guidance and education for a while longer, by his own admission. Is what I did so wrong, sinning for the greater good for YC's benefit? Is there any biblical support? On a personal basis, there is little communication between us except in resolving his legal issue. Professionally, things seem to be neutral but ok. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. |
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