Things I've Learned

Christian Consultation on Boylove
"What struck me is the depth of their Christian faith..."

Boys Are From Saturn
"I must love boys differently than I love women."

Who is our Brother, Mother, Sister?
"After a while I realized where the hatred was really coming from."

The Bucket
"To be what God has intended for you,take care, and use great discretion."

What Is Boylove?

When I read the very first issue of Paraklesis, I had to fight a very real lump in my throat.  In each article I read about so much pain in the lives my brothers.  Pedro, Oliver, Mark, and even my own article spoke about the pain in all of our lives.  But even so, I couldn't help but see how our Lord is able to somehow use these circumstances to make us stronger in faith and in our love for Him and one another.

I must say, I totally agree with Mark's statement that "boylovers need to be accepted as human beings, made in the image of God, and therefore treated with dignity and respect, rather than to be seen as inhuman monsters who deserve to be harrassed or assaulted because of feelings we do not choose to have."  To me, this sums things up quite well.  I also felt the pain that Oliver felt for his YF.  God bless his heart.  I praise God that he could be there for that boy who lost his father.  I cried when I read "When Two Worlds Collide" by my good brother, Pedro Morales.  I'm praying for you always, Pedro.  And I feel like crying whenver I read about the pain we, as boylovers, must endure.

On one hand, I get angry at society and wish to strike out against "them."  But then, on the other hand, I have to remember my faith in my beloved Savior, Jesus Christ.  I have just recently begun attending a church, more-or-less regularly, and also a weekly Bible study.  On my first night at the Bible study, someone just had to comment on the problem of having sinful homosexuals in the the church.  She was a little old lady, breathing from an oxygen tank, who was actually referring to no one in particular.  After that, I felt like taking a good stab at her.  A little old lady who has to walk around with an oxygen tank in order to breathe.  And both of us are Christians?  If both our cards had been on the table that night, World War III would have broken out!  What can be done?

My friends and family in Christ, love is not an easy thing.  But love each other we must.  It is not easy to attend a church, knowing that many who sit there with us would probably not approve of us being there if the truth were known.  Some of us have been fortuanate to be able to "come out" to our pastors or family and friends, without suffering too much indignity.  But many of us (and rightfully so) do not even wish to attempt such a brave feat.  So we continue to sit in pain-filled silence, hoping that maybe someday things may change, or we just simply leave our otherwise beloved churches.  We do not feel loved by our fellow Christians, by family and friends, by people who do not even know us.  I left the church many years ago because of feeling this way--and regretted it also.  But I couldn't bring myself to go back.  Not until just lately, that is.  What brought me back?  I want to tell you that it was by the love of Christ I experienced through other Christian boylovers!

This is how I know that God is working for us, through one another, through some very special people and very special websites like Christian Boylove Forun (CBF).  For the very first time I can get in touch with other Christians who are also boylovers, or who are just homosexual, or even those precious souls who are neither, but who have chosen to love us anyway.  We are Christ for each other!  One of my very favorite studies in God's word is regarding who we actually are as children of God, as Christians.  The Bible is just packed with information about this--primarily, I think, because we need to know this to actually grow in our faith.  And to know who we are in Jesus, in God's family, we need to see it demonstrated by others in our "family."  So many folks have shown me Christ through various posts on CBF, that I have continued to believe God's word concerning this.  This is the very work of God, people--the very work of His great love for us as His children!

God changes us, but from the inside, from the heart.  Do not for once think that He is not aware of our pain and suffereing.  He is.  And do not believe that God would allow us to go through anything without a very good reason for it--and that reason is never to see us come to harm or just watch us squirm.  This is absolutely not God's way.  God's way is love.  And it was God's love that night at that Bible study that enabled me to look upon that little old lady with compassion and love.  Maybe not right away, but after a while I realized where the hatred was really coming from.  It was coming from all the garbage that society and the church had taught her.  I am absolutely certain that if this person could somehow forget about what she thought she knew about us, and could see us for who we really are, she would not hate us.  So actually, for her sake (and others like her), I feel I must try to at least attend church services and a Bible study.  It takes some strength in faith, but I believe it is worth it.  Maybe someday I will be able to "come out," but until then, I want others to see the love of God in me--to perhaps "prepare the way."  And I pray that all of us can do the same.

Again, I wish everyone to know I love you all so much!  God bless all of us who travel this road together.  I thank Him that we can do it together!

Love in Christ Jesus,
Chris

Chris is a freelance musician and guitar teacher, and he recently started a Christian rock band.