Explaining why I am asking questions
Submitted by Sheesh! on January 16 2001 00:01:22
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Hi, Most of you know something about me from BC. Still I think I need to explain why I started following CBF. Growing up to my mid-teens, I strongly believed in God. I loved Church and Sunday school and even joined the Christian brigade. Heck, I even wanted to be a missionary! I used to dream about raising my kids in exotic places like the Amazon as I spread the word of God. (I traded letters with a missionary on the Amazon) But at one point, I felt a conflict between my sexuality and God. I couldn’t put my sexuality on the back burner so I did that to God. For years I maintained my faith but stop attending services because I couldn’t find a church to acceptable to me. But I didn’t look hard. For a while, I debated on which Church to join, Protestant like my dad or Catholic like my mother. I felt closer to Protestantism but it seemed all my lovers were Catholic. I did attend services once in a blue moon. In the last year, I have looked for ideas of what I would want in a church. But I have changed. I feel myself questioning that God exists. I want to believe he does exist but from what I understand of Christianity, the God I dreamed of doesn’t exist. I pictured a loving benign God with such an open heart. But from what I read of the Bible, God is not the one I expected. For example, as I asked here, I don’t understand Original sin. I have gotten so many responses but still I don’t think it was wrong for Eve to eat from the tree. Of course, I am more troubled of the notion of Eve. I don’t believe Eve was the first human. Perhaps Eve is the woman from that all of humanity has come through. Maybe she is the mother of all modern humanity If you don’t mind, I would like to ask questions. I don’t mean to be disrespectful. I am confused and I am not a bible scholar. Besides asking here, I also search the net for answers. But I trust Bls more. And I really appreciate all the different views, from the skeptics to the strict interpreters. |
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