Has the internet fed you?
Submitted by Huck Finn on August 18 2001 13:14:39
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I found CBLF and boy chat in about March of 2000. And I can't help but think that finding these places made me even more sexually driven towards boys. It gave what I felt a name whereas before I was able to seperate my sexual feelings from my emotional feelings. I would CONSTANTLY fight against these sexual feelings while embracing the feelings of love (agape) I had for children. However, since I found out that there are a lot of people that have the same problems, it almost seems as if I embrace both aspects now. It almost seems as if we (maybe not all of us, but most of us) are saying, "It's ok to have these feelings. It's just a fact of life." But why don't we say, "It's NOT ok to have these feelings. We need to protect ourselves from Satan's attacks." I truly believe that the moment we accept our sinful nature and say, "That's ok. God still loves me the way I am. I don't have to change." is the moment Satan wins. I've found myself more prone to think about the physical aspect of boys since I found CBLF and BC. I've found I've been more apt to talk about my urges. But I've also not been alone. I've also found a sense of community. IT seems to me that the internet has way to many loop holes. we all know there's a LOT of illeagal things out there on the internet. What's even worse is that nothing is stopping the us OR the boys we love from viewing things that Satan takes to hurt us and numb our minds. I really don't know what was the purpose of this. I just know I need to vent. I'm trying to evaluate myself AND my motives for being here. Maybe I need to get ride of all internet use except for E-mail. Maybe you guys could help me. I don't know. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May his face shine upon you. In His hands, Huck |
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